Waiting

Patients has been the underlying theme of the last few days. My boyfriend and I had been dating for 16 days. From the get go I was thrilled. I have cared for him since I met him two years ago. After a few days we both started wrestling with our spirits and were convicted on a few things in our lives. For me it was patients and for him, it was other things.

Last night we finally had the chance to talk. I drove down to his parents house knowing that we needed to speak face to face. He was man enough last night to tell me what he was being convicted of. He told me knowing it would be hard, knowing that we would need to put our relationship on hold for a while. It was such a bitter sweet feeling. We did need to end it until December but, I really did not want to loose him.

I really do not have the words to tell you what is going on in my spirit. Last night was so good. He was telling me hard stuff because he truly cares for me. He made the hard choice of admitting his weaknesses in order to guard my heart. It is such an odd feeling to be so broken but at the same time feel so comforted. Even though last night didn't turn out the way I wanted, I know for sure he cares for me and I know were doing the right thing.

God will move and give us the peace and reassurance to move forward in His perfect timing. Sometimes it has to get darker before the light can come in. The good news is darkness has to leave fast. It has no choice but to flee when light comes rushing in.

Even though I am yet again waiting, I'm waiting in peace. I know this is good and I know he will once again have that special place in my life when the time is right. I am waiting patiently but I'm waiting expectantly! It will be good, it will be blessed and it will be God.