Storm

The last few days have been hard ones. I have not been feeling that great. My nose has been really runny and I am completely exhausted. My grandma finally got new carpet. The carpet is good but, the process has been grueling. We had to move the furnature all out. When grandma and I got home that night, I had to vacuum everything. Both of the vacuums died and three plugs went out. The next day all of the furniture had to be moved back in. So I did it, all of it, all by myself. I also had to dust all of it because there is a fire on the pass so there was ash all over everything. I got all of the doors put back on as well.

Spiritually and emotionally I felt rung out. I am forcing myself to be patient in relationship and I am not a very patient person. It has been so hard to wait for him to call, him to ask, him to lead. Every time I am waiting or disappointed I have to hand it over to the Lord. It is good and I know I'm learning a lot but, it had been hard. I'm just waiting. Waiting on the guy, waiting for school to start, for auditions, for friends.

I feel like everything is up in the air and it's not going to land. Its just stuck up there waiting for the perfect timing to re-enter into my life.

When I lost my hair from my car accident I had a lot of different feelings. I was sad and shocked but, at the same time liberated. I never realized how much confidence and comfort comes with your hair. It sounds funny and even ridiculous but, with loosing my hair I lost a lot of me. I have really enjoyed it being short. I feel sassy, stylish and it is way easier to maintain. Despite that, I really miss my long, beautiful, curly hair. I have tried to grow it out a number of times. Because its curly it gets puffy and very awkward looking. Within the last few days I have decided to put up with it, to deal with the awkwardness. I want my hair back.

With my hair, relationship, grandma, carpet, new church, new house, and school starting. I feel week, I have a lack of confidence and the only place I can be comforted is in the Lord. It has been a very hard week but, it is getting better. I can see the light at the end of the darkness. 

I refuse to let this storm get the best of me. I am standing hear with my legs strongly planted and braced in the Lord. Yes it is raining and as dark as night but, my arms are open and I am screaming from my enter most being "bring it on." Satin can throw some strong punches. I do not doubt for a second that I will make it through and be better because of it. Instead of the storm to scaring me but telling me my problems and weaknesses. I will scare the storm by telling it who my God is.