Unstated expectaions

This last year has been filled with some very exciting thing. it all builds as if to climax at one final point. The begining of true adulthood. Graduation is suppost to be really excited and moving out is suppost to top even that.

I feel like all of this has built up to a point that has no climax. I mean you move out. yes it is exciting, it's new and can be fun but, why is it such a big deal. After graduating our culture puts emence pressure on every student. We are all told to go onto college. The better and more exspencive the college, the more sussfull you are in our cultures eyes. What is you don't have the money to pay for that school? So many of the kids that go off to college go just because it is expected. out of the same kids only a few are sucessfull. Some drop out, some get into drugs, some get kicked out and others just can't handle it. After all that many kids waist money they don't have and screw up their life badly.

My generations definition of success is so sad to me. Going to school doesn't make you more successful then someone that doesn't. Going to an ivy league school does not make you better then someone that goes to a community college.

our generation needs to learn to view success differently. I think the kid that goes to community college debt free is way more successful then the one that goes to an expensive school only to end up in debt. I think the person that decides to live with their parents for a while can be more successful then someone who moves out just because they can't stand their family.. We all need to learn that for every choice we make there will be a consequence. Weather good or bad. We have got to make better decisions. We need to take into account the effects our decisions will make in our life and learn to value that more then other peoples opinions.

So has this climax and all the pressure to change set my generation up to fail? If so, how would you counteract this emence demand to become sucessfull in the eyes of our culture?

My family

It just dawned on me that I have not told you all about my family. My parents are Phil and Jill. They both amaze me with who they have become. I have now idea how they do it all. I am the oldest of five kids. My siblings are Jordan, Jessica, Stephanie and Levi. Jordan is a crazy man of god, mad runner and has a gift for song writing. Jessica is a really unique girl. She is extremely petite. She is also an amazing runner, she loves any type of animal and in her spare time she reads. Stephanie is the girlie girl of the family. She is such a tender heart but, sometimes she is so spicy its scary. Levi is a big kid. He is such a caring young man. he loves to be a boy and ride anything with wheels. He absolutely loves cars and can tell you anything about anyone of them.

My family is very close. We all love God and love playing music together. We also have two dogs. The best one is honey girl. She is thirteen years old and such a good dog. The other dog is button. Despite the name it is a boy. This dog is not my favorite, its nothing personal but, I just don't like small dogs.

Adventures with Captain Jack

Going to family camp was quite the adventure. This year one of my friends Jack came with us. He could only stay for a short while so we decided to leave Early to get some hiking in. Jack, Jordan, Jessica and I left around one hoping to get to silver falls before dinner.

With map quest directions we were on our way. It was a beautiful drive but nearing Salem we realized the directions would never get us there. We drove over a section of the pass multiple times. Thinking we were getting somewhere, only to have our hopes shot down.

Finally we were headed in the right direction. Somehow we ended up on this gravel road and somewhere in the forest. We turned around and eventually got there. it was quite an adventure and a blast at that. We all laughed a lot and even though we didn't get to hike, we got some off roading in. Above is a picture of Jacks truck in front of my car while we were in the forest. We had to back up from there. It was fun in a really sick way.

Filters

We all have different filters that everything we, do and see pass through. This last week at family camp Dwain and Leann spoke on this.(To the left Levi, Jessica, Stephanie and I at family camp) Dwain used an example of the filter of Jesus blood. He said that our sin, makes us guilty. It drenches us in blood. when Jesus gave up his life for us he covered us in his blood.

Imagine if we were living in a bubble of life. This bubble was given to us because of Jesus death and the bubble is read. When Jesus looks down on us he looks at us through this bubble. Now if you look at something red, through something red all you see is red. All Jesus sees is the red of his blood that he sacrificed for us. he sees red of forgiveness, not of sin.

Zero in Gods name

 At church one very common activity is note taking. Everyone wants to make sure they don't forget anything important. We sloppy right down the key points and very few people ever go back over the notes.

One of the words that is bound to be on  the notes is God. I have always had a passion for the Jewish people. I love some of there traditions, they are all valuable and have a lot of meaning. One of my favorite traditions is the one about writing the name of God. They write it G-d. The o is always left out and I think the reasoning behind it is so cool. When I asked about this my mentor told me that god is never zero, he is never nothing because he is always everything. Even though zero is not in the name of God a circle looks so much like the number zero that it if left out. Since learning about this tradition I think twice when writing my notes and when the name of God comes up it has a whole new meaning. 

The power of red

Red is such a powerful color. We give red flowers, girls wear read dresses and we all bleed red. There is something about this color that is breath taking. It can be such a powerful color but why?

Red is a color of love. Its not a color of petty love but, of deep, true, committed love. Jesus blood was read just like the rest of ours, what a sign of love. Don't under estimate the power of the color red.

Verse of the week

"My son, pay attention to what I say, lisson closly to my words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart. For they are life to those who find them and health to a whole mans body. above all else guard you heart for it is the wellspring of life. put away perversity from your mouth. Keep corrupt talk away far from your lips. let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you. make level paths for your feet and take only the ways that are firm. Do not swerve to the right or to the left, keep your foot from evil." Proverbs 4:20-27

This verse has been so strongly on my heart. I am totally blown away with this awesome and very practical advice. While reading it I thought I wish that I had lived my whole life following this but, that is easier said then done.

I love that it says your heart is your wellspring of life. This is so good. So many times I find my heart being drawn a certain way, being pulled in many different directions. The thing I will be working on as I memorise this verse is trust. I need to completely trust God with everything that is in my heart. Like he says in Jeremiah 29:11 he knows the perfect plans for my life and they are for good and not for evil. I need to rest in peace knowing God will guide me and that it will be good.

Pride vs. Confidence

At the alt last week the underlying question of the whole service was who are you. for some reason this really hit me hard. if you ask an eighteen year old who they are, the majority could not tell you. The reason why this hit me hard is not because I had no idea who I was supposed to be. Rather I know exactly who I'm made to be.

Since then I have been struggling with this; am I just confident in who God made me to be or is it plain pride. by the dictionary's definition confidence:belief in powers, trustworthiness or reliability of a person or thing. pride: a high or inordinate opinion of ones own dignity.

After looking at the definitions I decided that I'm confident, not prideful. I simply believe and completely trust Gods will for my life and I for now I know who I am and who I am called to be. 

People watching

One of my favorite pass times is watching people. I'm forever curious and constantly wonder why people do and act the way they do. Munchin music is one of my normal summer activities. Some weeks can be fun but, others get really boring really fast, last week was one of those weeks. I sat there on the grass watching a group of girls. They were all strikingly beautiful but, they did not know it. They were dressed in clothes that has to come from the baby gap, they were smoking (obviously way to young to be doing that) and being as loud as possible to attract as much attention as possible.

It was so painful to see how these girls were operating. My heart was aking for them. while sitting there on the grass, i did not care if any one noticed me. I did not have to dress to impress. And I especially did not value and completely depend on others opinions and thoughts to define my life. This is not because I am any better then them. I'm not one bit better but the thing that hurt the most was this; I knew the majority of those girls would not be able to sit on that grass and simply not care. I desperately wanted them to know what it is like to know who you are, who you want to be and be completely OK and at peace with that. I wanted there life-line of friends to be cut of and for them to start living.